dad

1. (dad) (2193↑, 457↓)

The parent that takes the most shit. Sure, if you had a shitty father, then go ahead and bitch, but not all of us did. Some of us had great fathers, who really loved us, and weren't assholes. Honestly, if you could see how much damage a mother could do to one's self esteem, you wouldn't even place so much blame on "dear old dad"

Dad: "Oh, nice. I spend all my life to raise a family, and buy them a house, and then my wife divorces me, and takes the house that I paid for, and my kids, so she can go off with some other man, and treat my own children like shit. But at least I got a tie for Fathers day, that makes up for everything"

Author: You want to know who wrote this that badly? http://dad.urbanup.com/1634224

2. (dad) (893↑, 363↓)

the one who knocked-up your mom

horny guy + no condom = dad

Author: tomy1233 http://dad.urbanup.com/3182265

3. (Dad) (642↑, 293↓)

The guy who's on your ass 24/7 about grades, sports, what you do with your free time, drugs, alcohol, your behavior....etc and will never give you a break, or room to breath, he can also be pretty chill when he has vented all his rage on the rest of your family, he likes classic rock, talking about politics, he is never wrong and will argue until his face turns red to prove his point no matter how ridiculous it may be, he is either the best or the worst when he drinks, he is extremely controlling with what you do and how you manage your time, he does love you (well i mean he is your father right?) and after owning you he usually says its because he loves you (which is usually bullshit)overall you still love your dad even tho he may be a total asshole, and when u move away you will love him even more

Me: Dad is it alright if i got to Jess's party? Dad: Hmmm I just got you report card, do you know you have a D in math this quarter? Me: yes... (thinking FUCK)I'm sorry? Dad: well you're gonna be sorry because from now on you're not doing shit until you learn to be responsible, you're in high school grow up...(getting more pissed) i know you stole two of my Bud Lights I'm adding two weeks to your punishment you're going to be an alcoholic some day

Author: DankChiefer3000 http://dad.urbanup.com/3122707

4. (dad) (635↑, 305↓)

not just related to you by blood, but someone who really ares about you and what you feel, very important to kids living with their moms

My DAD is the most understanding person in the world\!

Author: backgroundgirl http://dad.urbanup.com/2454538

5. (dad) (403↑, 126↓)

The often overlooked and underappreciated parental figure. Just because he didnt give birth to you doesnt mean he can't love you the same, or more than a mother can. Also, whats up with the husband getting a 3000 dollar ring for the wife, on mothers day, and the wife getting the husband a 2 dollar tie for fathers day?

Dads have it rough. Having to be placed in the deadbeat dad category whenever you screw up really sucks. (Although some dads really do suck big time, like those ones that just run off, and leave the mother with a pregnant baby, and take absolutely no responsibility at all. They suck.

Author: you want to know who wrote this that badly? http://dad.urbanup.com/1292569

6. (dad) (265↑, 106↓)

N, The better parent. The person you can always go to when your mom is being Hitler and complaining about you for not doing your part around the house while you actually do more than she does. He sits on the edge of your bed at night when he thinks you're asleep and rubs your forehead. Someone who can whip your arse if you do something wrong, but doesn't go overboard with punishment. He makes you a better person. The only name he will let you get tattooed on your body is his. The most amazing person in the world.

ME: Dad, I love you. DAD: I love you too.

Author: ashley:) http://dad.urbanup.com/3611671

7. (dad) (240↑, 122↓)

"the only man a girl can trust"

frenchie of grease "dad"

Author: noel fielding's hairspray http://dad.urbanup.com/3214801

8. (Dad) (114↑, 17↓)

A word that can be substituted for any other word in the right circumstances. Created by GoldDad aka GoldGloveTV on DadTube.

Call of Dad: Dad Ops Dadsformers: Dads in Disguise Dadcraft iDadTV Dadtionary essinDADS Dadlol Bendadiii

Author: Ninjah Birdy http://dad.urbanup.com/5732510

9. (dad) (742↑, 661↓)

Hypocritical moron. The guy that yells at you, insults you, treats you like shit, kills even the smallest bit of self esteem you have, and then tells you that he's just doing it because he loves you. He believes that he is always right and will argue over the smallest thing. When he's not complaining incessently about bills and grades, he can be found drinking and watching porn.

Dad: You fucked up the computer again didn't you?\! Me: What are talking about? Dad: The fucking computer isn't working right because you go on "asshole.com"\! Me: What's asshole.com? Dad: You shut the fuck up\!\! Don't use that tone with me you ungrateful piece of shit\!\!\! Me: Did you ever think that maybe you fucked it up by going on all those underage Asian porn sites? Dad: DON'T YOU FUCKING TALK BACK TO ME YOU LAZY, WORTHLESS FAGGOT\!\!\!\!

Author: lazy, worthless faggot http://dad.urbanup.com/1544715

10. (DAD) (100↑, 38↓)

the guy who treats you like his own. the one who, teaches you how to ride a bike. the one who is there for you no matter what. the one who wants his little girl to grow up happy. the one who you can go to. the one who, when you start to date guys, gets all super protective. the guy that loves you unconditionally. even when you mess up every once in a while no matter how big the mess up was.

person one: is that your [father]? person two: no, thats my DAD(; person one: whats the dif?? person two: how bout you go look it up on urban dictionary?\!

Author: awed1 http://dad.urbanup.com/3772618

11. (dad) (65↑, 26↓)

Dumb Ass Deadbeat

Any man can be a dad. But it takes a real man to be a father. That dad who doesn't pay support but always thinks he a great dad while spending his support at the bar\!\! Yea I'm a great dad cheers\!\! heres to the kids\!\!

Author: big native http://dad.urbanup.com/4364390

12. (dad) (42↑, 6↓)

Just try to win an argument with him. Then tell me the results when you're not grounded anymore.

Dad: "BLAHBLAHBLABLAHSCHOOLBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHSLEEPBLAHBLAHBLAHCOMPUTERBLAHBLAHBLAHYOUDOEVERYTHINGWRONGBLAHBLAHBLAH" Son: "But dad, I-" Dad: "FUCK YOU YOU'RE GROUNDED"

Author: True Storyz http://dad.urbanup.com/5030777

13. (dad) (59↑, 28↓)

The male parent of a child who is normally screwed out of a child's life and has little to no hope to get custody of his little one(s) because all of his hard earned money is taken and given to the the mother to support her bad habbits while the grandmother (usually on the mothere's side) takes care of and supports the child, leaving him out of all the important things, such as first steps, birthdays, holloween, etc. A person who feels like a failure when trying to put together a care package because he has no clue what the child will be interested simply do to the lack of communication. Often givin a bad name and called a dead beat, even though all attempts to see the child(children) are disbanned by the parent usually saying that the child has no intrest in seeing him. Who's only hope of knowing anything about the child is a vague text message once a month if not longer.

Mother - Niki doesn't know you, she doesn't even want anything to do with you Dad - she's only a year old. I can still be a part of her life If only you'd tell me where you moved to. Mother- well she's with my parents the next town over Dad - So what you're not taking care of her? Mother- I'm not ready for a child. It's to much responsibilty and I still want to party Dad- Well what size clothes does she wear, and what kind of toys does she like? Mother- the usual kids stuff and sizes.

Author: speak13270 http://dad.urbanup.com/3820699

14. (dad) (133↑, 105↓)

a guy who will love you no matter what you do. the most important and loving person in the world no matter what age you are.

my dad was the most wonderful person ever.

Author: haley caymen http://dad.urbanup.com/2701689

15. (dad) (73↑, 50↓)

A man who never shows up in your life. Never Calls, never comes by, never sends a card for your birthday. Or a man who is always there for you giving you guidance and support.

Jake: My dad just took my cellphone\! I hate him\! Dave: Atleast you know who your dad is\!\! So stop bitchin\! \<or\> Superstar: I want to thank my dad for all his love and support all these years. I couldnt have done it without him. I LOVE YOU DAD\! You will never here Dave say that^

Author: Galleria http://dad.urbanup.com/2102409

16. (dad) (23↑, 4↓)

Not the Mama

Father: Come on kiddo\! Say "Daddy"\! Son: ...Did you say something Not-The-Mama? Father: ................

Author: IcyShadows http://dad.urbanup.com/5523204

17. (DAD) (62↑, 46↓)

The man who beats your mom and only talks to you when he has to. The man who calls you a lesbian and a lier because he doesn't know you. The man that got upset about you not wanting to come to his house anymore but didn't try to get rid of the bugs or the stray animals to get you to come back. My dad is a horrible person.

[ass hole] [worthless] [fagot] [druggie] [mean] [pussy] [freak] [dad]

Author: black_assassin http://dad.urbanup.com/3788651

18. (dad) (26↑, 12↓)

manipulative asshole who is nice to everyone inc you when there are people around but when you're alone he tells you how worthless, disgusting and useless you are. Not adverse to physical violence or blaming you for his doormat wanting to leave him or ruining his pathetic drunk life.

dad; Think of Joan Crawford but the male version "no more wire hangars"

Author: Angry\@men http://dad.urbanup.com/5325791

19. (dad) (28↑, 15↓)

- a fucking horny bastard who acts as if he knows the world. - pretends to be caring and thoughtful + has an devilish conspiracy behind his surface = Dad - a sick shit who contaminates the definition of "family" - a dude who forces you to do housework even though your legs are broken (that's my dad)

Dad: Hey you fucking son go cook for me I am godly hungry\! Me: But my legs are broken\! Dad: I don't fucking care you useless piece of shit\!

Author: AntiDad http://dad.urbanup.com/5152854

20. (Dad) (35↑, 24↓)

Def. \dadnoun The better parent. The one that treats you like an equal and respects you. The one that provides moral guidance and teaches you about life. The one that co-conspires about hiding broken stuff from Mum. He protects and cares and makes you laugh but calls you ridiculous nicknames.

Dad: Pig\! Get over here\! Kid: Don't call me that in front of my friends\! Dad: Well don't be a pig then\!

Author: Kidlet http://dad.urbanup.com/4124110

21. (dad) (8↑, 4↓)

1. One of the [homies] that are pretty much like [family]. You can count on him and he will always have your back no matter what. 2. An [origina]l [friend] or [homie] that you have known for a while and are pretty [tight] with.

"What's up dad"

Author: darager http://dad.urbanup.com/5733417

22. (Dad) (20↑, 17↓)

A man who works to support you and doesn't take your crap when he doesn't get anything in return.

That's my dad foo

Author: iamafrickindad http://dad.urbanup.com/4197317

23. (Dad) (2↑, 0↓)

The replacement name for "bro" to call your best friend of whom you have a fatherly bond.

Guy number 1: "Holy shit, Dad\! That was the best trick mcthing I've ever seen\!" Guy number 2: "Thanks, son."

Author: EspritDC http://dad.urbanup.com/6049933

24. (Dad) (0↑, 0↓)

A [father] who his child can rely on. He hugs and jokes and treats his [family] with [respect], caring for the child, making sure that they want to live and keep them from harm from others and their selves. He [listens] to his child, he cares for their interests and never laughs at their mistakes. He understands his child's dream and ambitions and would go out of his way to help them reach this. He never puts [money] at a higher importance, and knows that he cannot buy love. Above all, he will not hurt his daughter.

Dad often gives [hug]s to their children

Author: Sonisphere http://dad.urbanup.com/6323811

25. (Dad) (0↑, 0↓)

1. Someone who suddenly divorces your mom leaving you in the poor house and then moves to atlanta, GA. Then after a year or so moves even farther away to the country of singapore. 2. Someone who only calls when he is drunk and angry for no reason. 3. Someone who drinks on a regular and predictable schedule.

Friend: "Where is your dad?" You: "I have no idea. I think he is in singapore."

Author: Deadmenkil http://dad.urbanup.com/6207708

26. (DAD) (65↑, 65↓)

DAD, or Dumb Ass Disease, a variant of ADD, or Attention Deficit Disorder. This one however, is much more common, as everybody has at least one friend that suffers from this.

No, really, he's always stupid like that. He's got DAD.

Author: Barrry Nicholson http://dad.urbanup.com/2888617

27. (Dad) (24↑, 29↓)

One of the few, if not the only, boy a girl can trust. He's the one who loves playing games with you & goofing off with you while your mom works. He works too, doing manly things like mowing & vacuuming, just not as much as the mother. He's the old-timey guy who loves board games but also enjoys Mario Kart very much. He stays in the basement watching old western movies & working on puzzles (my family refers to it as the Mancave). He's the one with the stories of when he was a boy that make you smile & always teach a lesson, he's the one who still wants to hold your hand or hug you at the mall, visits video game stores & watches movies frequently, demanding at times, the one you can talk to when your mom's having major mood swings. The greatest guy ever.

Mom: OAUEHTFAIOSEHBORICQHUE0SIRUHYZIJQBEO\!\!\! D:\< Me: Mmm, looks like Mom's in a mood again. Dad: Yeah, that's been happening a lot lately. -chuckles- I love your mom, but when she gets angry, -chuckles again- she gets angry.

Author: ToriFTW http://dad.urbanup.com/3593910

28. (dad) (7↑, 14↓)

Why I distrust all men, cry myself to sleep at night, feel unwelcome in my own home, & would cut my mom slack for anything. He acts like a nice parent when guests are over, or we're in public, but once we're alone, he's a maniac. A bomb always waiting to blow, he snaps at the slightest provocation. My options are to let him get away with his abuse, or to stand up for myself & get the living crap beaten out of me. We’ve only not kicked him out of the house because my mom was raised by an abusive father herself, so she doesn't know what it is to be treated right, & because she believes that children don't do well in single-parent households. Every time I give him another chance, he proves me wise for not having been completely open with him since I was 8 years old. He has failed at giving me the the sole thing I deserve: Unconditional love. Thanks to him, I've had to stay in the closet my entire life. Even when my heart was bursting at the seams with love for the first time, at the age of 13 years old, I couldn't go to my own father for advice. Thanks to this thorough incompetence, I've basically had to raise myself. Cherry on top: My family is wealthy, so whenever I drop even the slightest hint that I'm miserable with them, I get called a spoiled, ungrateful brat. I find this to be ironic - you would think that less fortunate people would understand even better than I do that the impact of material items on happiness pales in comparison to being accepted & loved...

*My mom is deployed overseas, so I'm alone with my dad and brother on Christmas* Me: "No, Dad. I don't want to talk to Grandma. She says horrible things to me and insults everything I do\!" Dad: "YOU WILL TALK TO HER THIS INSTANT\!\!\!" Me: "NO. She's a BULLY." Dad: *hangs up phone and starts yelling profanities in my face, then starts punching me over and over until I'm pinned on the floor, trying to shield my face and genitals as he keeps hitting me* Me: *later, to my brother, through a split lip and bruised face* "Merry Christmas, huh... let's call Mom on Skype. Maybe we can still have some happiness today..."

Author: dougelo7 http://dad.urbanup.com/5984836

29. (Dad) (15↑, 24↓)

A lovely kind person who is quite like a unversial remote, he is a taxi driver, and an ATM all at once, and he can easily be won over with a cup of tea\! [Father], [Taxidriver], [ATM], [Parent], [GAA Fanatic].

Daughter: Dad, will to drive me into town. Dad: Hmm, i dunno..\!\! Daughter: ill make tea... Dad: Ok\!\!

Author: Kinky Boots http://dad.urbanup.com/3300198

30. (DAD) (15↑, 24↓)

drop a duece

person 1:i have to go DAD person 2:don't forget to wipe

Author: XwaltonX http://dad.urbanup.com/3299115

31. (Dad) (22↑, 31↓)

The parent that DOESN'T call you a slut and a drug addict and kick you out of the house. The one who doesn't call up their family and tell them you "bashed" them when THEY'RE the one who's pushing YOU while screaming "HIT ME\! C'MON HIT ME\!". The parent who never lied about lawsuits and restraining orders and where all the money went. The parent who tells you when things go wrong, when he's out of cash for the week, when he drinks too much, when he crashes his car. The parent who admits his mistakes and sets the record straight. The one who takes care of you and makes sure you're doing everything safely. The parent who makes dorky jokes and tells you not to eat so much cookies because he "worked hard to get this gut" and he doesn't want me to look like that. The parent who calls me pathetic and rolls his eyes at me every time he says I smell like an ashtray. The parent who gives me money for coffee and gum and chips and soy sticks, just because I don't want to spend my own shit change. The parent who has always spoiled me and called me silly nicknames. The parent who tells me I've got too much make-up on, because I don't need it. The parent who does what I say. Asks me how to make his chat-site work. The parent who took us in and has a job and does something PRODUCTIVE on the weekend. The parent who's not over-consuming pain medication just because their toe hurt. The parent who lets me have the main bedroom in the house just because I wanted it. The parent who builds me furniture and buys me shelves with anchors and boats from the kids' section, just because I wanted it. The parent who made me act like a (more) sane, normal person rather than an angry, withdrawn person who punched walls and cupboards and threw glass bottles at people. The parent who I never fight with, who I can't be angry at. The parent I LOVE, not the parent I can't even PRETEND to stand to be around. The parent I appreciate, and am thankful to have in my life.

"16 and not yet stangled. Lots of love - Dad." - best one yet.

Author: Nah m8 http://dad.urbanup.com/3295823

32. (Dad) (3↑, 13↓)

A dad is any man, dude, guy, friend, brother, or biological dad. We're all just a bunch of dads and potential dads.

Ethan: (drunkenly) "Dude, this party is a dad-fest, yanno? We need more moms. I saw my dad. he's the worst dad ever." Dustin: "Man, were all just dads. He's a dad(points) and that guy's a dad. Fuckin' dads everywhere." Ethan: "I know, eh."

Author: Dadman http://dad.urbanup.com/5804903

33. (Dad) (8↑, 18↓)

Dad: a word referring to any noun, verb, or adjective (excluding wine) in ANY sentence and can replace any part of an existing word.

Examples: 1. Hey man can you pass me that dad (remote)? 2. I just dadded all over the place (up to interpretation). 3. Hey have you seen my idad (iPod)? 4. Dude last night was rough, I'm so dad (hungover) right now.

Author: Dizzane http://dad.urbanup.com/3948606

34. (DAD) (7↑, 17↓)

It stands for dumb athletic director. The types of things a DAD does are highering Suck Ass coaches and not running the athetic program at his school properly.

Bill Wells, the Athletic director at Urban High School, acts like a DAD.

Author: Kaleb Kaler http://dad.urbanup.com/3710524

35. (dad) (1↑, 31↓)

Military slang - an abbreviated form for Baghdad.

dad's gonna kill me. or ... no towel heads around tonight, let's go down to dad in the motor.

Author: henry balfour http://dad.urbanup.com/3251409

36. (Dad) (13↑, 47↓)

only the chillest of dudes. any person who hooks you up on the road.

I wanna meet that DAD\! I wanna greet that DAD\! DADDY NO\!

Author: roaddad http://dad.urbanup.com/3009606

37. (dad) (9↑, 44↓)

referring to one's G or homie

man: yo dad, i was totally trippin over that bitch last night. man 2: you mean the ho with the Bruce Springstein tattoo? man: fuck that. that shit was tight.

Author: asian1 http://dad.urbanup.com/2825239

38. (dad) (10↑, 46↓)

An internet acronym for dont ask douche, or dont ask douchebag, or perhaps dont ask dude.

Bob: Iwant to go to the party tonight and get wasted\! Fred: Fuck you\! Bob: wtf? Fred: dad

Author: Aljoho http://dad.urbanup.com/3096262

39. (dad) (19↑, 70↓)

1. (n) Term used for addressing (typically male) friends, as in [man], [dude], or [brother]. 2. (n) Cigarette 3. (v) The act of smoking a dad

"Hey dad, you wanna go dad a dad?" "What's the name of your band?" "Dads Without Kids"

Author: DWOK http://dad.urbanup.com/2368828

40. (dad) (20↑, 75↓)

to drink and drive, to get pulled over because you are drinking and driving

"I pulled an big dad last night" "I got pulled over last night for a dad" "I pulled this guy over that was doing a big time dad and I kicked his ass"

Author: Jack Bower http://dad.urbanup.com/2165981

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Last updated: 2012.02.29